God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
