Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
