my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
Randomize
