Buhtt sex?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
But now he's gone and I'm exhausted and my vagina is yelling at me and I want a cheeseburger
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
