She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
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