I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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