just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
