Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
