I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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