Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Where is the hickey?
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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