he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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