You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
