Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
