..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
she dared me to make out with the amish dude so I went up to him and grabbed him by the beard
GRABBED HIM BY THE BEARD
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
