so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
