Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I walked in on her just letting her nose bleed into her friend's hands
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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