Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Randomize
