you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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