i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just got a handjob from a 19 year old in front of the Parthenon. The Greek god of debauchery would be proud.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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