that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
