i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
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