And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
Randomize
