Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
we're so committed to being not committed
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