Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
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