God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
