You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
