does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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