Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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