Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
