Will you blow on my dice?
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
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