Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
Randomize
