I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
false alarm. still invincible.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
