I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
