explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
