Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Randomize
