good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Sorry, I know you're at the airport but a gram of coke is missing so good luck with security!
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
