In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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