trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
I drank so much Goldschläger last night, I could shit a necklace.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize
