I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Randomize
