I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
Randomize
