how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
