what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
