you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize