i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
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