I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
