any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
