i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
