I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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