I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Being hungover naked and coloring my hair. I guess I am not naked I have black latex gloves on. Give me a call.
im coming over.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
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