Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Randomize
