ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
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