PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize