Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Randomize
