We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
My brother is chasing tequila with vodka. Not sure how it will turn out, but I like his style.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
