I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
