Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
