wouldve been great, if we lived in constant slow motion cause that shit lasted 30 seconds and half the time he was putting on the condom
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
yeah the cops just showed up and they got there ass handed to them at beer pong.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
