i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
all i tweeted was "emergency this is not a drill" and he immediately texted me asking if this was a subtle booty call…it was
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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