There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
