he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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