I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
