Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
