So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
Randomize
