who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
