My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
