Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
Randomize
