Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
