...so i touched it.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Randomize
