He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
